nBlog

Today, someone told me that he had heard the title “Society of Envy” as a characteristic name for our western world. And isn’t it appropriate?

How much time do we spend comparing?

Jealousy is not only limited to obvious things such as wealth and fortune. We begrudge each other our talents and abilities, our ways of life, our very own happiness.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not opposed to competition. I don’t think children suffer permanent mental damage from facing bad marks in school, and I do not believe that we have to play only games where everyone wins. A good rival can be very stimulating.

It is one thing to look around and see if you can do better. But many people seem to look around and grow shadows inside. Shadows of who is better, stronger, richer. Shadows they do not even see. Shadows they are not even able to recognize. Although envy seems one of the most widespread diseases, no one ever admits to it. People gladly admit to be obstinate, bossy, choleric, and snotty. But have you ever heard someone ackowledging his envy?

I’ve seen a woman expelled from a circle of friends (all mothers of young kids) because they weren’t able to accept that the woman’s little girl was intellectually exceptionally gifted. The little girl started reading when she was three, and their children did not, and they simply could not live with that.

I’ve seen long friendships crumble because the one wasn’t able to accept that the other was happier in his life.

I believe that envy lives at the core of many twisted attitudes. How many people say that they cannot accept a certain way of living - because they very secretly would love to, but never dare, to try it themselves.

I’m not telling you that I’m free of it - though in a relationship I am certainly one of the most un-jealous people in the world: Ask my man. But yes, there are times when I think that life is unfair, and that I wish to have what my fellow human being has.

There is one very salubrious remedy against it: When you feel envious, go to the person you envy and admit your grudge. Go ahead and try. The results will be enlightening. And not as bad as you thought, believe me.