Obscene, offending tits!
Subtitle: Sometimes I just cannot believe how uptight and stupid some people really are…
What comes to mind when you read the title of this entry? Hardcore porn? Wrong! Read on, and you’ll learn about the depths of idiocy.
Here is the story: A little magazine, a freebie giveaway you can find at Baby’s supply stores, features a cover photo with a baby suckling on its mother’s breast. This is according to the title story, “why women don’t nurse longer”. Have a look at the picture:
Look at it real hard.
What you can see on the picture is a really cute little baby’s head. What you also can see on the picture is the curve of its mother’s breast, as the wee one is currently being fed. What you can NOT see is anything even remotely reminding us of porn. Why, there’s not even a nipple! At least none to be seen. 
But what happened in the US of A, the land of the brave and free, when they saw the title of this little magazine? An uproar! Shocked and hurt phonecalls and emails!
“I was shocked to see a huge breast on the cover of a magazine”, a woman from Kansas writes, “I feel offended by it, and my husband felt very awkward when he saw the magazine in our livingroom”.
A woman from Nevada wrote: “I immediately turned the magazine around when I looked at the cover. It’s incredible. Seeing a baby hanging at its mother’s breast makes me feel sick. I had to rip off the cover so that my husband wouldn’t see”.
Dear woman from Nevada and Kansas, and dear other women who felt “offended” by a photo of a nursing baby, here is what I really like to tell you:
These two, soft protrusions in front of your torso are breasts. God gave them to you. He did this for one primary reason: So that you can feed a baby with it. Their god-given reason is just what you saw on this offending picture. I have a deep understanding that you might prefer your husband ejaculating on them, or other kinky stuff, but face it: THAT’S WHAT TITS ARE FOR!
And just to enlighten you: I live in a part of the world where pictures like that are not only on magazine covers on a regular basis, but also on book covers, and where women nurse their babies whereever the babies feel like being fed: In restaurants, in museums and in parcs. This strange and wonderful part of the world is called Europe, in case you never heard of it in Kansas or Nevada. Some call it “Old Europe” over there. Yes, I am proud of that term.
To be a little bit more serious: Breastfeeding is considered as the best way of nurturing a baby, and not by some perverts, but by a majority of renowned scientists. It is good for the health of the baby, it prevents allergies and adiposity (let me remind you that America is the land of the Fat!), it reduces the danger of breast-cancer for the nursing mother, and it is good for the baby’s psyche and soul. It is a disgrace that such common knowledge has not reached the US yet - but then, much common knowledge hasn’t. Have a look at this page, dear American women, and read and learn: http://www.lalecheleague.org/Law/summary.html
Thanks to “babytalk” for opening the debate by being the first (can you believe it, the FIRST!!!) American magazine to feature a nursing baby on its cover. Perhaps the discussion can be a next step for the US to cross the Rubicon … and leave the Middle Ages.
? P.S. Oh, I almost forgot: A footnote to both women from Kansas and Nevada. If your husbands feel awkward seeing such a photo, or if you even have to hide it from them: Think about your marriage. Real hard. Then take a lover. Or give your guys a real good blowjob. But DO something about it, for heaven’s sake!
Oh dear … so it’s even worse than we already thought?
Isn’t it strange to see a society with so much potential deteriorate so fast?
Less than half a lifetime (°knockknockknock°) has been enough to change my perception of “america in general” from admiration to a pity flavoured form of disgust.
When I was a kid my dad used to bring fancy toys from several of his countless business trips: Simon, Etch-A-Sketch and a remote controlled R2D2 to name just a few. I got my first skateboard (which ended up under the front wheel of a 20t truck, but that’s a different story) and an american business friend of my dad provided me with a complete Rawlings baseball set (that’s including an aluminium and a wooden bat). Chevrolet used to built cool cars. They had more fastfood than just one single McDonald’s within a radius of roughly 40km — cool. The NASA — way cool! FBI and CIA? Cool. Defenders of the free and the brave and such. Uhhmmm … OK, the latter might have been be typical ‘little boy’s peception’.
Anyway: Exchange students from abroad used to be cool as well. Same applied for classmates who bid farewell for a year in the U.S. of A. Probably because american scientist were … hmm … cool? Pretty much everything was ‘cool’ back then. The first US president I actively remember was Jimmy Carter — who was kinda cool as well. You know where I’m going, right?
OK, admittedly some of the things might have been FUBAR back then already — just that I didn’t see it that way as a child (nor did I care).
Today all the nifty gadgets are from asia, you admitedly still play pretty cool baseball but have a Honda or a Toyota to drive to the stadiums (that’s because only few can afford a real car like an AUDI or a BMW *gg*), the fast food turned out to be a very bad idea and that ole space shuttle is not too exciting anymore, your ’secret services’ publicly violate human rights (and nobody cares!). And from a european point of view your educational system (as well as your medical system) is roughly comparable to that of a third-world country. The internet you invented is just about to get censored on a large scale, your mobile phone network doesn’t even support roaming. UMTS - never heard of. Censorship everywhere. And the final f*cking biggest joke of it all is Creationism in school.
So .. here’s some pretty simple things you could should do for a start:
Thanks.
Oh, and while we’re at it:
What Nike so vividly described above …. by the way, I particularly love the “you might prefer your husband ejaculating on them” part as it fits seemlessly with my vision of a bigotry driven couple tearing frontpages off the most harmless magazines in the afternoon while getting on with some real straight forward techniques just a few hours later, witnessed only by the obligatory Saviour (and probably a 25$ webcam from Radio Shack).
I mean … come on … the “American Bukkake” series seems to have reached volume 30 (THIRTY!) plus various “Best Of” (?) editions and even a “Lesbian Bukkake” (WTF?!?) special.
So … where were we? Ah … what Nike so vividly described above goes along nicely with statistics on breast augmentation (that’s ‘boob surgery‘ for the educated part of the Jerry Springer audience, ‘uh. big tits!’ for the rest):
The top cosmetic procedures of 2005: Breast augmentation * 290.000 * +37% change from Year 2000
(complete stats)
But why not? “It’s more affordable than you think!” (says Breast Aug USA, the Physicians Marketing Group)
I’m off to that … other online shop, need to get some more
of the missing DVDsbooks on late 17th century ethical theories!Oh dear, I got you started there. *lol*
Very good. Oh, about that blindlingly idiotic president of theirs I could go on four hours and hours. And HOURS. But why should I? Mr. Moore smeared the facts in their faces thousandfold. If facts like that became widely known to a German audience, I still wish to believe that the person about which they became known would instantly go to prison - instead of getting elected.
As for the “little boy view” of it all - I agree. I had this, too (a little girl view, that is *g*) Perhaps it was not even a child’s view of the USA, but Germany’s more or less general opinion about the people that freed and protected us, in a way. This is what still shines through when I talk to my mother and her recollection of the end of the war: The American soldiers who gave them chewing gum and chocolate… we learned to love them, or our parents did.
Now we learn to pity them. I hope we’ll not learn to fear them.
Oh, and btw: I deeply, fervently envy you the R2D2 model. Do you still have it?
“elected”? Did you just say “elected“? *hahaha*
To tired now for today, just two more things:
a) I can proof George Dubbelyou is a psychopath by all medical means
b) no comment on 30 volumes of American Bukkake …
/me disappointed
/me thinks, that series would make for the single weirdest ‘Let’s watch all episodes successively and have beer with it!!‘ nights in history ….
As for a):
Is there anyone (I mean, any sane and logically functioning being) who has any doubts yet about this fact? But hey, if you feel like proving it just for the fun of it, go ahead.
And about b)
An evening as you described it might be extremely helpful for Mrs. Kansas and Mrs. Nevada. Give them a new perpective of things and such. Yeah, very good idea. *g*
Oh, and c)
since when can you add pictures in comments, I thought you couldn’t? Good one, tho.
ad c)
Since I didn’t drop out of HTML school …
(*hehe* … no no, been abusing admin features again …)
add.: Just been listening to a BBC programme on Iran, especially on Ahmadinejad who challenged George Dubbelyou to a live TV debate. They had a short interview with an american satirist who liked the idea very much and even proposed to make this a pay-per-view event.
Except for the “he [Bush] could even bring Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and the rest of the hee-haa-gang ….” he also said: “(…) They should make sure that he [Bush] has no buzzer under his table, because as soon as he notices he’s losing, he’d push the button and turn Iran into a parking lot. With a petrol station in the corner.”
Couldn’t stop laughing because I believe that’s precisely the intellectual level Bush is living on … I want to hear a quote like this from the next president, though. Not from a satirist.
I still think Whoopi Goldberg should be the next president!
You’ll like this article as well, dear
Good evening, you two…
I really do not wish to barge into your little debat with my petty two cents, but well… Chrome did it again, like to many others, and sorry, now it has to come out:
Yeah, well, I read something like this in one of those Dan Brown novels. ;p Thought he’d made it up.
I understand that you want to keep up your national pride, though. *fg*
Boils and sores… LadyMin… boils and sores… *grrrrr
Uhm … where exactly did I accredit ‘the Internet’ to the americans? o.O
(And as we all know, Al Gore invented the internet, no?)
Well, mean Worpress ate my code… which tells me the code above this box doesn’t relly work.
Chrome you stated: “The internet you invented is just about to get censored on a large scale, your mobile phone network doesn’t even support roaming.”
Al Gore? *lol* Somehow reminds me of the user that calls support and starts off with the key phrase: “The Internet is broken…!”
Which in turn reminds me of a question a support guy asked a customer: “So what is standing on your monitor?” And the customer answers: “A bottle of beer”.
yseult: Don’t mix up “Internet” and “World Wide Web” …
The Internet goes back to the early 60’s and the US governments ARPA (Advanced Research Projects Agency). Most of the underlying technology we still use today had been developed by the early 80’s.
The WWW, the ‘graphical frontend’ if you will, appeared in the early 90’s, roughly thirty years (!) after the first steps, — and has indeed been published at CERN (near Geneva). However, Tim Berners-Lee (the guy who came up with the hypertext idea) is a British computer scientist.
So, Americans indeed invented the internet but the colorful frontend was brought to us by a british guy who happened to work in Switzerland at that time.
Uh-oh, Chrome, luv … I fear you unleashed the patriot in our lovely lady now. *gd&r*
[...] This statue is (or has been) shown at the Capla Kesting Fine Art Gallery in Brooklyn, New York — now as the average american is shocked by a baby magazine showing a breastfeeding mother I can vividly imagine their reaction to this sculpture. [...]
I was just wondering if you are using this for this blog.
If I’m using what for this blog?
Ah, for the sake of completeness:
“This lady still breastfeeds her daughters, aged five and seven, respectively”
This is from a pretty WEIRD website which I thought I’d better spare you — however, the short report seemed sincere to me so I tried to figure out how to get the video without the rest of the site … I hope the above link is working.
(Again, I’m not linking the rest of the site for a reason and you really really shouldn’t go there. You have been warned. Don’t blame me.)
[...] Kansas and Mrs. Nevada. Give them a new perpective of things and such. Yeah, very good idea. *g*http://nike.lotekk.net/archives/n25Assistant professor at WSU crowned Mrs. Kansas America 2008 …Job Changes (promotions, etc.) Labor. [...]
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